Loving by Following
By Jill Jachim
Have you ever played “Follow the Leader?” It is great fun if everyone does his part. The leader must think of creative moves to keep his followers interested. For all to enjoy the game, the followers enthusiastically mimic the leader. What happens to the game when the followers decide they will no longer follow the leader? The leader now has no reason to lead.
In a marriage based on God’s standards, the man leads and his wife follows. It is God’s appointed order. Though the game is an imperfect analogy to marriage, let us compare them. What happens to the game if two decide to be the leader? There is no teamwork and no one to follow the lead. If there are others in the game, which leader do they follow? Now there is division and chaos.
God is a god of order. He expects order in civil government, in the church, and in the home. The man follows Christ, the wife follows her husband, and the children follow the father. Sometimes it will appear that the children follow the mother, but this is right as long as the mother follows her husband. Again, compare to the game. Children in a straight line may not all see the leader, but as long as the one directly after the leader follows properly, and each one follows properly after that, then the leader’s moves are exactly mimicked by everyone in the line.
A husband has no reason to lead if his wife does not follow. Following her husband is one of the many ways a wife can demonstrate her love to him. Consider these few examples of “following” to evaluate if you are trying to be a good follower, or if you are trying to steal your husband’s God-appointed position as leader:
- Be enthusiastic about his dreams and plans (1 Cor. 11:9, Prov. 14:1)
- Take care of tasks he wants you to do (Prov. 31:27)
- Speak highly of him to others, especially to your children (Luke 6:45)
- Speak respectfully to him (Song of Solomon 4:3)
- Raise your children under his direction (Prov. 22:6)
- Spend your money, time, and energy the way he desires (Prov. 31:12)
- Cheerfully let him be the final authority (1 Peter 3:4-6)
Having a godly marriage is not a game. It is critical for furthering God’s kingdom. Make sure you are not hindering God’s plan by seizing a position that is not meant to be yours. Take joy in following your beloved leader--and receive God’s blessings in return.